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06/08/2003:

everyday is like sunday

you ever have those days that you wish you could just go back to bed? i do sometimes; today is one. it started off well enough, up early, let the dogs out, feed them, back to bed for another hour, then rise, shower and off to work for a couple of hours, all the while my wife sleeping in for a little much deserved rest.

on the way home from work i exited the newly opened 59 at Highway 6. usually i would exit Murphy road and take it down till it dead-ends into Highway 6, but today i figured it was early, before 10:30AM, and traffic on Highway 6 would be light. sitting at the light, i was listening to NPR, who had Jimmy Page on talking about their new 3 CD retrospective and telling a lot of the same stories i had already heard about songs like "When the Levee Breaks" and "Stairway to Heaven". and for some reason, even though i was pretty much spaced out and just waiting for the vehicle to move in front of me, i noticed something sickening take place in the intersection. now this is a big intersection; it boasts four lanes of traffic going in each of the four directions and each side has a double turn lane for the left hand vehicles. this isn't a country road and there are not any houses within 3-4 miles. but in the intersection my eye catches a small grey kitten, must have been less than 8 weeks old, scurrying in traffic - traffic that was going at full speed. i don't know how he got there and i don't even know how my eye picked him up b/c i wasn't watching the intersection really. poor little guy was running literally for his life across a very large intersection, trying desperately to make it to the underpass median. a large Ford truck drove over the top of him and i don't know if it hit him, but it did cause him to tumble and roll, and as the car passed, the kitten came flailing out of a ball, still running at full speed. he made the underpass median and appeared hurt, with a possible broken rear leg, and looking very scared. he was not even close to being safe and you could see the adrenaline wearing off and his movement become difficult.

the car in front of me lurched; the light had turned green and it was our turn to move, and as i slowly turned left, i craned trying to see which giant concrete pillar he was hiding behind. while turning and looking, i wrestled with my conscious about what i was supposed to do. these are the things that make me sad. i could have stopped, tried to grab the kitten, even though it was most likely feral and would have never come to me, probably instead running from me out into traffic, where i would be complicit in its death. i told myself this contrived story as i continued to slowly drive away. at next immediate light, less than even a block away, i almost turned around, but my mind told me, "what would i do with a injured kitten." emergency vets are $75 for an initial visit on weekends and i already have a house of 3 dogs and 2 cats. so i drove on, Jimmy Page blathering in the background and me feeling sad and terrible.

it's this feeling, this recurring thought that i rationalized not stopping and not helping b/c it cost money, or would have been physically risky, or didn't fit my day's schedule...this is what hurts me now. i mean it makes me sad to realize that i am one of those people. i am human.

i am pretty sure most people made the same rationalizations. while i saw several cars, a black corvette and a toyota sedan, slow down, none stopped; their drivers making the same reasonings i was, about why they shouldn't stop and help and why they should just keep driving. after all, it was only a kitten.

i wish i could make the memory go away, but i can't. it's been over an hour and i am still thinking about it. but being a human, i am sure in about 30 minutes i will have forgotten, overwhelmed by my life and the things i need to do, my chores, my daily activities...my life.

and all this was compounded when NPR ended Jimmy Page's interview and began a story about a homeless man who was trying to re-assimilate into society by helping others find lost money that the state of NY owed them. most of his story is about others denying his existence, much in the same way i denied i even saw that kitten.

we are a terrible species.

Replies: 2 Comments

Let me suggest two possible cures (not cures for being human, but for that dull ache in your head). One, make the decision that next time you *will* stop. Period. Make it as sure as the fact that you will go to work tomorrow.

Second, watch SuperTroopers. Oh my god that movie is sick. I laughed my butt off. Sick, sick, sick. Yeah, it looks sophmoric and it is. But it is unashamedly so. And it never forgets what it is or tries to be something else (or something more.) All the main characters are the writers and they really seem like a bunch of friends having a great time walking through this life. Classic one liners and one sick...sick finish. (Seriously, wait until after the credits roll to see just how dedicated these boys are to the cause.) To my wife's horror, I am buying this flick.

Will this help that ache in your head? Only for about 103 minutes. But that's what is so groovy about us viruses. We aren't *just* slobbering beast looking to kill and f*%^. Sometimes we are slobbering beasts looking for a good laugh and someone to share it with.

[hug]

rdbj_97 said @ 06/09/2003 09:47 AM CST

Holy Proto-Wonder Bra, Batman, I almost forgot: Linda Carter is in SuperTroopers - for about three minutes. She looks AWESOME!

Takes me back to those thrilling days of yester-year (the late 70's). Ah, those were simpler times. Wonder Women, Charlie's Angles, Adrienne Barbeau...the list goes on and on. Man! Didn't have to get pierced or tatt's just get a date. Sure, sure, in a few years you would have to wear spandex and high heels and make-up, but for a couple of moments (78-79), if you had good hair and a Journey tape, you were set. Well, until high school.

rdbj_97 said @ 06/09/2003 10:01 AM CST


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