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04/05/2007: "crack of doom"

humans are a whacked-out species. i know, i know, you may already think this, or maybe you are tired of me ranting about it, but, i have more evidence.

we moved the shop to a new location in a five unit strip mall connected by a parking lot to a Shell station. Habib and his crew own the whole dealio. we opened Feb 1st.

immediately i started noticing that the parking lot was a big ass vacant spot for the weirdness of our species to operate.

~~~~

#1 - lots of high school kids
a local high school is around the corner by a mile or so, so we get the AM group who show up, all pile into one car, drive away, come back 15 min later and then go to class. smoke weed much? not very obvious.

#2 - i'm arab and my wife doesn't let me smoke
some guy, always dressed in a white shirt, tie, black slacks, driving a Mercedes (nice one too) shows up every afternoon. parks, disembarks, walks up to stip mall sidewalk, smokes cig, gets in car, leaves. every day. ummm, ok.

#3 - no interracial couples please
little white high school girl driving early model 2000 BMW. pulls up and parks. large black kid pulls up moments later. both meet up in her BMW. make out for 30 min or so. both leave seperate. happens about 3 times a week. parents suck.

#4 - i'm not dead yet
for about the first 2-3 weeks, some latin kid would show up in the afternoon driving a black Nissan. someone would pick him up. car stays in the lot. days later he comes back for car. happened at least 5 times. car was parked so long one time i seriously considered calling the cops, thinking maybe there was a dead body in the trunk.

there are more - generally a bunch of one-offs. today was the greatest one-off so far.

i look out as a big ass brown Navigator parks. has an "Aggie Mom", "Arkansas Mom" and "LSU" sticker on rear window. license plate: "Mrs Tex". no lie. kicker? she gets out, smokes cigarette and leaves. her attire? black short shorts with cowboy boots. ISYN.

i can't make shit up like this, folks.

(and yes, i am turning into that old man. now tell those fscking kids to stay off my lawn.)

Replies: 1 Comment

Funniest post ever.

DAC said @ 04/06/2007 09:17 AM CST


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