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10/24/2007: witness the man who raves at the wall

i'm restless. earlier i was tired and restless.

one of the cool/sad/interesting/boring facts of returning to the world of work-a-day whores is that you no longer control your destiny. shit, you don't even control the daily minutia that happens in your own veal pen. no, the mighty corporation does all this for you.

when you work for yourself, you are the decider. let me say that: i am the decider. damn, i feel presidential. anyway, you come and go as you please, set your own schedule, and if like my wife and i, run from one fire to the next, barely extinguishing the flame that is trying to burn your ass. it is nice, but tiring and sometimes overwhelming. in contrast, most office jobs are underwhelming. yawn.

stuposedly in the corporate world you are supposed to be managing your career. maybe that should be in bold? or all capitals? no matter. the common wisdom is manage your career path lest you becoming 40 years old and stuck in a cube. hey wait a minute....

but if you have worked for yourself, you kinda don't give a shit about all this career nonsense. who has time to manage a career when you are hiring, firing, advertising, sweating, working....

sitting in my cube i can't help but feel, what's the right word: languid? i just could give a shit less. keep direct depositing those checks. make sure my insurance coverage is handled. leave me alone. what? don't i want a promotion? no, i want a paycheck. chop chop, Porterhouse.

when i graduated college i was already older than most. i felt like i needed to rush to catch-up on all the career that i had missed. eight years later, i see that i hadn't really missed much. every company is the same: run by marginally adept managers and executives, many of whom - if they could admit it to themselves - are as lost as the rest of us.

sure, the south is different. we're no NYC. i am not a trader or broker. i don't get up at 4AM to start worrying over the markets. i don't summer in the Hamptons. hey btw, Merrill Lynch, how's it hanging? guess you guys found that black swan, huh? check ya' later!

anyway, did i mention i am restless?

played a few tourneys last night. i bubbled in a $26 token tourney, getting some cash but no token. i then proceeded to make the final four in $750K satellite; only top two got seats. so in all, nothing spectacular. as usual, i am monkeying with my tournament game. seems like any time i step back from tournaments for more than a month that when i return i want to try new stuff. so i have been trying the "Gus Hansen / Kid Poker" style: trying to see lots of flops, using marginal hands hoping to hit something, driving to build a big stack early, esp. if the table seems tight. last night i went out on the fourth hand of some guarantee tourney! 4th hand! AA vs my top pair/straight and flush draw, essentially a coin flip. that's maybe a little too loose. heh. anyway, i am enjoying it. another two weeks or so and i figure i will have settled into some pattern, hopefully one that is going to win some tourneys.

that said, don't forget your Wed night Mookie! hope to see all of you there!

last but not least: if there is a being of higher authority - Allah, Jesus, Visnu, Xenu, Buddha, etc - could one of you guys throw the doomsday switch on Boston? please? those guys are insufferable....

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